A lies embeded in me , forever

   It was a windy evening on the streets of Jalan Precint 9 . Everything seemed perfectly fine with the nimbus clouds potrayed cute figures in the skies , a flock of birds ,made their way smoothly gliding through the air , the roads never seemed to have a rest with the passing vehicles and the look on people's face inside the coffee shop by the road side gave a lot of expressions .Everything was fine except for the fact that I was there sitting infront of an old man , who never did seem to get the message that I was not fond of being around him . This white haired old man , with a double chin and a plump body , always drag me to his favourite coffee shop that was just a stone throw away from our house . This old man was my grandfather .
   
   My mother forced me to spend some quality time with him and treat him really nice , because he was an old man and he needs extra attention , extra love and extra care from everyone . This old man was also very sensitive and fragile , so everything I do must be done with extra cautious and extra effort . Being young as I was , putting extra effort in my daily routine was not something I would agree of. I tend to ignore him as a sign if being rebellious . There were uncountable things that I had done to my grandfather , which I am very not proud of . A snobbish , rude and menace adolescence I was back then . All those back stuff I did could make a soldier throw a grenade on me , but my grandfather always replied with a smile on his face and put up with my nuisance .

   There were time when he loves me so much that he would always stay right by my side and always be there when I needed him the most . He was the one who listened all of my childish problems and calm me down whenever I have temper tantrum . But as I grew up , there was like a distance between my grandfather and I . He tried his utmost effort to understand  me , but I keep on making further distance that could reach across the atlantic sea .Once , he bought be a football snickers that I craved since I was in middle school . I keep  using it , until one day , I misplaced it somewhere nearby the school field . It was a very emotional moment of mine back then . I burst out tears , that kept on flowing like a river which follow its pattern down from top of the  hills .At that moment , my grandfather tried his best to calm my emotion at a normal stage . i felt happy but I hide the expression from him , because of my ego towards him was pretty high , as  I always thought that he was a burden in my life . He knew that I was happy , so , I ran away , because I wanted to escape from a very boring conversation between me and my grandfather . He nailed this game of mine , though . Whenever there is a good news , there will be a bad companion , which is the bad news . That night , I overheard my grandparent conversation in their room . My grandmother was very mad as she found out that his old husband spent a lot amount of money to buy something without her knowing or knowledge . I felt terrible for my grandfather , because I knew he used the money for me . Sadly , my grandfather just remained quiet and respect what she said . He left the room and slept outside on the couch , adjacent to the television , just to knocked down his boredom . I love my grandfather since then , but I am shy to express my feelings with a laughter that came out from my sincere heart , just like the old me when I was in the kindergarten . So , I decided to remain the same .

    We were in his favourite coffee shop the next day , and he kept offering me his foods to me and everytime  he made an effort,  I will destroy it purposely . I rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut and pretending looking at someplace else . He then understood that I was annoyed , so he paid the bills and left me alone in the coffee shop . At first I don't want to follow his flow , but then , I realized it was my responsibility to take care of him with all of my heart . As I stepped out of the shop , there were a gang of suspicious men surrounded my grandfather's car , like they were assisting a Prime Minister from getting a shot . Just when my grandfather was about to open the car , they jumped on me and grabbed my grandfather . I struggled to let lose their hands off my grandfather's . My grandfather in other hand , managed to free himself by swinging his feet to the bad guy's ribs . I pulled off the same technique by using both my feet to other two men's groin . My grandfather and I quickly get into the car and made the escape just like in action movie . His condition afterwords was not really in good shape through my eyes . He could not move , but only to talk with his husky voice . Both of us were quiet in the seat throughout the journey back . We reached home and I could not spoke a thing . He also , acted like nothing had happened .It was like a very little nasty secret between both of us .
     
     That night , grandmother could not stop crying . She was crying her eyes out watching grandfather's pathetic condition looking very exhausted , gasping for oxygen in the air . My parents and other siblings also shed their tears emotionally . Apparently , we all knew that it was the time for grandfather to go to the place that he was meant to stay forever . He summoned my father with his last ounce of energy left inside him . He told my father to take great care of me and never to take thing personally with my teenage develop- behaviour . Love me with all his heart and always be there for me at the time I need someone the most . The moment my grandfather took his last breath , my whole body went numb . After all those things I did to him , he still loved me and never get mad with me even once . Mother called for ambulance and the doctor said that he died in natural cause . I did not think nature that took him away , but it was the bad guy who murdered him without mercy .

     No one in the family knew what I went through . It just kills me inside reminding of what I had done to him for years . I don't have the courage inside me to tell the family the guilt that I felt towards him . All the immature , nasty and immoral things that I did to him and the read cause of his death will always remain as a secret . A secret that lied embeded in me forever .

                     conclusion =- i hope you guys will get the moral value of the story =] assalamualaikum
ththought that

Assalamualaikum , wow ..it's been for months i haven't updating this blog . well , the readers may be only me , but i hope i will have many readers out there =]
 so this is a story about me and my best friend ._.
there was a boy named ryan , his bestfriend named kim .both of them were friends since standard four . they were best friends since they've reached form 2 in the middle school . how fast the time flies ~ one day , ryan have a few pimples on his face , and he have no self-confidence to face with his best friend , kim . or i can call him 'BFF' for short . so , that morning in school , ryan was walking down the school hall , cautiously to beware of the surrounding and to make sure he can avoid from kim . his plan failed , and he met kim in front of the school hall . kim realised the differences of ryan's appearence . but , that was fine to him , he don't care as long as their friendship still related . so , ryan was a bit relieved , but the moment they talked each other , ryan will never look into kim's eyes , because he thought he can hide him pimples .' well , that was very disturbing !' ryan yelled at himself as soon kim already reached the stairs . ryan almost cried ,because of the pimples issue . so , as usual , that morning ryan entered the class a bit late , because he is the school prefect , so he was having his duty every morning . the teachers didn't mad at him , because they already know the circumstances that ryan have to take every single day .
*in the class*
kim's place was besides him , but ryan still tried to avoid him . He really do hate the pimples . Ryan felt guilty of his behaviour and stances . but , how can u stand with that kind of appearence ? really disturbing ! So , ryan sent a letter to kim , instead of just talk freely with him . Kim was a bit weird regarding to ryan's action . it was slightly different . Kim thought that ryan had changed , kim thought ryan didn't like him . kim thought he did something wrong . so , he just kept quiet and tried to give ryan some time . kim thought perhaps ryan was having a hard time with his family or etcetera .
*during the recess*
ryan was walking down to the canteen as fast as he could , left kim alone in the class with adam . again , ryan felt guilty . but , he don't care . at the canteen , ryan was holding his food on his hand carefully ,and put it on the dine table in the school canteen . from nowhere , kim appeared besides him , ryan was totally shocked , he covered his pimples and tried to ran away . but , he can't , his fingers were full of rice and his plate still not cleared up .kim asked ryan ' why are running away from me ?' , then ryan answered ' am i ? naah , i'm just a bit rush nowadays , since this year i'm a school prefect and i'm sorry kim' . Kim only just could smile and left the place ~ ryan wasn't sure whether his action of trying to avoiding kim was the right thing or wrong .
*as the bell rang*
ryan still avoiding kim and they haven't talked for hours . ryan started to miss his chat with kim , which it was full of laughter and caring . while he was walking , suddenly he heard a very familiar voice . it was kim ! how shocking was that ?! he can't run , if he did , kim must think that ryan was mad with kim . he just stood there and forced himself to wait kim . kim was running towards ryan with a smile on his face . ryan was smiling too , but deep inside ,it was full of pain . ' hey , let's go to the teacher's room and meet teacher suhaila ' he asked energetically . 'um ? naah , nevermind , u just go there with your friends , bubye ' ' ryan replied with a bad face expression . kim startled , speechless , and he left just like that . he went to see his friend , adam . ryan felt guilty , bad AND SAD  ! he can't believe he just did that . he was curious , what kim will feel regarding to their mean conversation ? will he be mad ? that was a huge curiosity .
*ryan's house*
as usual he logged in his facebook account , checked his notifications , messages and he found out nothing could calm him down . he was totally mad of himself . just because of pimples , he dare to leave his BFF alone , he dare to hurt KIM's feeling . ryan is not a good friend ! while he was checking the news feed , he saw something that could cure his curiosity . it was Adam , Adam was onlining that time ! thanks to Allah . so , he quickly chatted with him . he asked many question about Kim . is he mad ? does he feel sad ? did he said anything about ryan ? all the questions answered with a word , 'yes' . Ryan shocked , quickly he asked 'what is it ?'
the chat went like this =-
ryan : did he talked anything about me ?
adam : yes
ryan: what is it ?
adam : kim said that u don't want to be his friend
ryan; huh ? what a nonsense !!
adam : what happened ?
ryan : nothing . bye , assalamualaikum . thanks for the info and I DON'T HATE HIM
the chats between them ended just like that . ryan burst out tears , he regret it . he don't want just because of pimples , their friendship will crack into two parts  , just like a biscuit that fall onto the ground and cracked into pieces . he don't want that to happen ! so , that night , ryan was praying that kim is still his bestfriend .
*the next day at school*
ryan asked kim , ' are u mad with me ?' , kim just replied him with a word ' no'. well , that couldn't satisfy him ! and as expected he was mad at ryan and they didn't talk for four days . ish ish ish . the fourth day , ryan burst out tears again and again . the news spread really fast and kim found out the news . he was worried , and finally they talked each other . and their friendship were still lasts . Alhamdulillah
p/s , based on true story and sorry for the ending . I'M SERIOUSLY OUT OF IDEA and LAZY . ahaha
story by =- Fahd