A lies embeded in me , forever

   It was a windy evening on the streets of Jalan Precint 9 . Everything seemed perfectly fine with the nimbus clouds potrayed cute figures in the skies , a flock of birds ,made their way smoothly gliding through the air , the roads never seemed to have a rest with the passing vehicles and the look on people's face inside the coffee shop by the road side gave a lot of expressions .Everything was fine except for the fact that I was there sitting infront of an old man , who never did seem to get the message that I was not fond of being around him . This white haired old man , with a double chin and a plump body , always drag me to his favourite coffee shop that was just a stone throw away from our house . This old man was my grandfather .
   
   My mother forced me to spend some quality time with him and treat him really nice , because he was an old man and he needs extra attention , extra love and extra care from everyone . This old man was also very sensitive and fragile , so everything I do must be done with extra cautious and extra effort . Being young as I was , putting extra effort in my daily routine was not something I would agree of. I tend to ignore him as a sign if being rebellious . There were uncountable things that I had done to my grandfather , which I am very not proud of . A snobbish , rude and menace adolescence I was back then . All those back stuff I did could make a soldier throw a grenade on me , but my grandfather always replied with a smile on his face and put up with my nuisance .

   There were time when he loves me so much that he would always stay right by my side and always be there when I needed him the most . He was the one who listened all of my childish problems and calm me down whenever I have temper tantrum . But as I grew up , there was like a distance between my grandfather and I . He tried his utmost effort to understand  me , but I keep on making further distance that could reach across the atlantic sea .Once , he bought be a football snickers that I craved since I was in middle school . I keep  using it , until one day , I misplaced it somewhere nearby the school field . It was a very emotional moment of mine back then . I burst out tears , that kept on flowing like a river which follow its pattern down from top of the  hills .At that moment , my grandfather tried his best to calm my emotion at a normal stage . i felt happy but I hide the expression from him , because of my ego towards him was pretty high , as  I always thought that he was a burden in my life . He knew that I was happy , so , I ran away , because I wanted to escape from a very boring conversation between me and my grandfather . He nailed this game of mine , though . Whenever there is a good news , there will be a bad companion , which is the bad news . That night , I overheard my grandparent conversation in their room . My grandmother was very mad as she found out that his old husband spent a lot amount of money to buy something without her knowing or knowledge . I felt terrible for my grandfather , because I knew he used the money for me . Sadly , my grandfather just remained quiet and respect what she said . He left the room and slept outside on the couch , adjacent to the television , just to knocked down his boredom . I love my grandfather since then , but I am shy to express my feelings with a laughter that came out from my sincere heart , just like the old me when I was in the kindergarten . So , I decided to remain the same .

    We were in his favourite coffee shop the next day , and he kept offering me his foods to me and everytime  he made an effort,  I will destroy it purposely . I rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut and pretending looking at someplace else . He then understood that I was annoyed , so he paid the bills and left me alone in the coffee shop . At first I don't want to follow his flow , but then , I realized it was my responsibility to take care of him with all of my heart . As I stepped out of the shop , there were a gang of suspicious men surrounded my grandfather's car , like they were assisting a Prime Minister from getting a shot . Just when my grandfather was about to open the car , they jumped on me and grabbed my grandfather . I struggled to let lose their hands off my grandfather's . My grandfather in other hand , managed to free himself by swinging his feet to the bad guy's ribs . I pulled off the same technique by using both my feet to other two men's groin . My grandfather and I quickly get into the car and made the escape just like in action movie . His condition afterwords was not really in good shape through my eyes . He could not move , but only to talk with his husky voice . Both of us were quiet in the seat throughout the journey back . We reached home and I could not spoke a thing . He also , acted like nothing had happened .It was like a very little nasty secret between both of us .
     
     That night , grandmother could not stop crying . She was crying her eyes out watching grandfather's pathetic condition looking very exhausted , gasping for oxygen in the air . My parents and other siblings also shed their tears emotionally . Apparently , we all knew that it was the time for grandfather to go to the place that he was meant to stay forever . He summoned my father with his last ounce of energy left inside him . He told my father to take great care of me and never to take thing personally with my teenage develop- behaviour . Love me with all his heart and always be there for me at the time I need someone the most . The moment my grandfather took his last breath , my whole body went numb . After all those things I did to him , he still loved me and never get mad with me even once . Mother called for ambulance and the doctor said that he died in natural cause . I did not think nature that took him away , but it was the bad guy who murdered him without mercy .

     No one in the family knew what I went through . It just kills me inside reminding of what I had done to him for years . I don't have the courage inside me to tell the family the guilt that I felt towards him . All the immature , nasty and immoral things that I did to him and the read cause of his death will always remain as a secret . A secret that lied embeded in me forever .

                     conclusion =- i hope you guys will get the moral value of the story =] assalamualaikum
ththought that